Translation Criticism on Xu Yuanchong’ version of “On the Height”

Translation Criticism on Xu Yuanchong’ version of “On the Height”

王春芳

上海政法学院语言文化学院 上海 201701

Abstract

Xu Yuanchong has devoted his life to translation and has made great achievement.

His translation version of Dufu’s “On the Height” fully embodies his translation theory

—“Three Beauty”, that is beauty in meaning , beauty in form and beauty in sound

Key Words: Xu Yuanchong, Dufu, On the Height

Dufu was one of the most famous poets of Tang Dynasty. He lived in the period when the prosperous Tang Dynasty began to decline because of the rebellion caused by Anlushan and Shisiming.

Though Dufu failed in his political career, he made great achievement in poetry writing. More than 1,400 of his poems remained. The range of his subject matter is wide. Many of the best were written after AnLushan’s rebellion. They profoundly reflect the society and his feelings and sorrows. They are like historical account written in poetry. Most of his best poems have strong political content, and many are penetrating exposure of inequality of the old society. Dufu’s poems also describe natural landscape, including mountains, rivers, flowers, animals, so on and so forth. The following is one of his best poems:

《登高》

杜甫

风急天高猿啸哀，渚清沙白鸟飞回。无边落木萧萧下，不尽长江滚滚来。 万里悲秋常作客，百年多病独登台。艰难苦恨繁霜鬓，潦倒新停浊酒杯。

The poem“登高”was written in 767, the fourth period of his lifetime. At that time he lived in KuiZhou. On the 9^th day of September of Chinese lunar calendar, Dufu climbed the height by himself. It was the traditional way for the Chinese to express their homesickness. When he saw the sad autumn landscape, he composed this poem.

In the first two sentences, Dufu used 7 scenes: 风急、天高、猿啸急,渚清、沙白、鸟飞回 to describe the desolate autumn landscape. These seven scenes form a complete picture.

In the third and fourth sentences, the poet macro-perspectively drew the picture of the boundless forest of which leaves were falling, and the endless river which flew constantly without stopping.

In the fifth and sixth sentences, the poet described his own living state and health condition with 14 characters: 万里、悲秋、常作客，百年、多病and独登台.

In the seventh and eight sentences, the poet concluded this poem by describing his disappointment that he couldn’t dispel his sorrow through drinking wine because he was seriously ill.

The following is Xu Yuanchong’s translation version:

On the Height

The wind so swift, the sky so steep, sad gibbon cry;

Water so clear and sand so white, backward birds fly.

The boundless forest shed its leaves shower by shower;

The endless river rolls its waves hour after hour.

Far from home in autumn, I’m grieved to see my plight;

After my long illness, I climb alone this height.

Living in hard times, at my frosted hair I pine;

Pressed by poverty, I give up my cup of wine.

(translated by Xu Yuanchong)

In terms of beauty in meaning, it can be easily seen that all the content are fully rendered in Xu Yuanchong’ version. For example, the target text of the third and the forth sentences is fully correspondent to the original. “无边” is translated into “boundless”, “落木” into “forest shed its leaves”, “萧萧”into “shower by shower”, “不尽” into “endless”, “长江” into “river”, “滚滚来” into “rolls it waves hour after hour”. What’s more, Xu’s version fully conveyed the sorrow and depress expressed in the original poem. The words such as sad, cry, tears, grieved, plight, illness, alone, hard, frosted and pine tell the readers how sad the poet was.

In terms of beauty in form , the translation version is commendable either. Firstly, the form of the translation version is poetic. There are 8 sentences in the source text, so are in the target text. The length of each sentence is similar. At the first glance of it, readers can immediately know it is a poem instead of a prose. The structure of the first sentence and the second sentence are the same, so are the following sentences. This contributes to the beautiful form of the English version.

In terms of beauty in sound, Xu well dealt with the rhyme and rhythm. Firstly, the words “cry” and “fly”, “shower” and “hour”, “plight” and “height”, “pine” and “wine” rhyme with each other. The rhyme scheme is aa, bb, cc, dd. These words make the translation version pleasant to readers’ ears. Secondly, [s] in the words so, swift, sky, so steep, sad can suggest the sound of wind and the cry of gibbon. The phrase “shower by shower” very vividly describes the sound of falling leaves. Thirdly, the rhythm of the translation version if desirable too. Each sentence has six feet, each foot has two syllables, with one syllable stressed and the other unstressed. So when the English poem is read, it sounds rhythmical.

In conclusion, Xu Yuanchong successfully finished his job and left a masterpiece in English. From this poem “On the Height”, we can see that he fully carried out his translation theory—Three Beauty, that is beauty in meaning, beauty in form and beauty in sound.

参考文献：

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2. 许渊冲. 汉英对照唐诗三百首[M]. 北京: 高等教育出版社，2000