如何让高中英语读后续写出彩

(整期优先)网络出版时间:2021-03-31
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如何让高中英语读后续写出彩

潘元

广东省乐昌市城关中学

摘要:英语读后续写学习可以分为三个阶段:敢写、会写、写好。文章将从合理细节描写、准确使用高级句式、设计精彩结尾三方面进行阐述。

关键词 续写 出彩 细节描写 高级句式 精彩结尾

笔者认为学生读后续写学习可以分为三个阶段:敢写、会写、写好。学生经过高二、高三长时间有效训练后,有很多同学已经达到敢写、会写的水平。然而如何让学生游刃有余地创作,续写出彩并获得高分,这也是我们一线教师要思考和实践的课题。从浙江和山东省阅卷评分规则来看,阅卷时主要考虑以下内容:

(1)与所给短文及段落开头语的衔接程度;

(2)内容的丰富性(细节描写:外貌、心理、语言、动作、表情、环境)

(3)应用语法结构和词汇的丰富性和准确性;

(4)上下文的连贯性(注意与前文内容以及所给出句子的上下文连贯)

本文,我将从以下几个角度来谈谈如何让学生读后续写出彩,写出符合逻辑、内容丰富、结构清晰、遣词造句准确的文章。

  1. 合理使用细节描写,详细刻画角色与情感,使文章细腻生动。

细节描写包括环境描写、心理描写、动作描写、人物描写等,合理使用细节能更。详细刻画角色与情感,使文章细腻生动。以2016年10月浙江高考读后续写为例根据原文及续写部分给出的首句Para1: But no more helicopters came and it was getting dark again.我们可以这样续写:Immediately, an absolute darkness ruled the forest.通过时间副词 immediately 进行衔接,加上环境描写来烘托当时的氛围。或者我们还可以这样续写 Desperate and hopeless, Janet Knelt down, tears screaming down her face …利用形容词衔接,非常符合人物当时的处境,动作描写及独立主格结构进一步说明主人公的无助、后悔又害怕的心理。第二段首句 It was daybreak when Jane woke up.主人公情感发生了变化: 由无助、害怕到重新燃起希望。所以我们可以这样续写:The sun shone lightly, bringing warmth and hope to the world.也是用环境描写烘托主人公的心情。再如有些同学想到在故事的最后Tom 从直升飞机里出来,Jane 非常开心,他们紧紧地拥抱在一起。Tom went out of the helicopter .Jane was very happy and they hugged with each other tightly.仅单纯的动作描写,这样写出来的句子未免有点太平淡。如果我们加上一些心理描写、环境描写,文章顿时变得细腻生动。如:Feeling surprised and overjoyed a great deal ,Jane held him tightly and told him how much she loved him. At the moment ,the mountain was filled with joy.

  1. 合理设置情节,使用高级句式,让文章脱颖而出。

以学科网2020年高三月大联考(广东卷)为例,故事梗概如下:Michael是一个大个子,在学校其他孩子都害怕并远离他。其实,他更害怕其他孩子异样的目光。他家人对他也不是很关心, 在学校各方面表现都不尽如人意,老师也想劝他退学。在极端无助的情况下,遇见了一个少时与他有同样经历,但最终成功的人Sean。续写部分第一段给出的首句是:Seeing the big boy seated in the corner of the gym for a while Sean walked over to him .这一段续写应该围绕两人在一起发生了什么事情,Sean对Michael说了什么,做了什么,Michael对此有什么反应来写。学生写作如下:

Michael was surprised and nervous when he saw Sean walk over him . Sean said hello to Michael ,but he didn’t give any response. Sean sat beside Michael and said nothing for a while. The atmosphere was a little tense . Sean told Michael his own story and admired his gift for sports. He looked up at Sean thankfully and he told Sean nobody else was so kind and friendly to him before. He promised he would work hard and do more sports afterwards. and then they part with each other .

很明显这样写可以让人了解该学生所要传达的信息,但由于缺乏高级句式,文章显得很平淡,缺乏感染力。因此,我们需要用高级一点的句式让文章亮起来。下面是修改后的内容:

surprised and nervous(以形容词作状语开头) , he saw Sean walk over him . saying Hello to him (合理使用非谓语动词),Sean didn’t get any response , which makes the atmosphere a little tense(非限制性定语从句) .Sean didn’t mind it ,sitting next to him silently for a while(现在分词作状语). Sean began to tell Michael his own story and admired his gift for sports. He looked up at Sean thankfully with tears in his eyes(独立主格结构). And then he told Sean nobody else was so kind and friendly to him before like this. He promised he would work hard and do sports more regularly (多使用修饰词)afterwards before parting with each other (介词+动名词).

  1. 设计精彩结尾,使主题得以升华,让文章写出高度。

再以前面提到的2016年10月浙江高考读后续写为例,文章末尾设置情节为在Tom 和救援人员的努力下,Jane被成功营救。结尾我们可以这样写:Feeling surprised and overjoyed a great deal ,Jane held him tightly and told him how much she loved him. At the moment ,the mountain was filled with love.山谷弥漫了爱的气息,自然实现文章主题的升华。从学科网2020年高三月大联考(广东卷)中,我们可以看出文章的主题是:Build them up ,Not tear them down .(成就孩子们而不是摧毁他们)。文章以一个演讲结尾:Michael mentioned in his speech:“I am particularly grateful to Mr. Tuohy. It was him who tried to build me up while everyone else was tearing me down. I would never forget his kind an inspiring words and warm smile!”这样写起到自然点题、升华文章主题的作用,文章的高度便也得以提升。

总之,续写文章要围绕主要人物展开,合理设计情节,确保第一、二段衔接自然、符合逻辑。在此基础上合理使用细节描写,详细刻画角色与情感,使文章细腻生动。同时,学会恰当使用高级句式,设计精彩结尾,使主题得以升华,让文章写出高度,续写出彩便指日可待。

参考文献:

高中云英语10月8日