以“故事山”为基，以线索为本架构读后续写教学----以读后续写《森林脱险》为例

以“故事山”为基，以线索为本架构读后续写教学----以读后续写《森林脱险》为例

  郑 晶

浙江省丽水中学  浙江 丽水 323000

摘要：在学生读后续写的多次练习中，笔者发现学生所写短文与原材料存在“低协同”现象，主要表现在情节构思与文章主题有偏差，基于这个典型问题，笔者以浙江省9+1联盟2021学年第二学期英语卷中读后续写《森林脱险》为例探究以“故事山”为基，以线索为本的读后续写教学。

关键词：读后续写 故事山 线索 构架

在高考英语读后续写题中，为了使续写部分与所给短文高度融合，学生需要充分研读所给短文，使续写部分与所给短文在语言和情景两个层面高度协同。然而，在学生多次练习的过程中，笔者发现学生所写短文与原材料存在“低协同”现象，主要表现在情节构思与文章主题有偏差、续写内容过于单薄、语言表达欠佳等方面。结合学生读后续写习作中的 情节构思与文章主题有偏差这个典型问题，笔者尝试了以“故事山”为基，以线索为本的教学策略，并在教学实践中进行了验证。

一、以故事山为基，理清原文脉络。

所谓“故事山”，是将故事发生过程中的节点事件，按照顺序表在一条曲线上，这条曲线是随着读者的心情而起伏的[1]。在叙事的文章中，故事的发展往往会随着人物经历的事情而起伏变化。读后续写的文本多为故事类文章，因此，在读后续写读懂原文这一部分时，教师可以引导学生采用“故事山”的方式梳理故事的发展，从而理清原文的脉络。

下面笔者以浙江省2021学年第二学期9+1联盟英语卷读后续写《森林脱险》文本为例，进一步阐述以“故事山”为本，理清原文脉络。

It was when I was 13 years old. My cousin and I would drive to a national forest to hunt for whitetail deer. We would have to return to finish much housework before 5 p.m.,when my father came back from work.

On one such hunt we went down a track and split up. He went down one ridge while I went down a nearby ridge. We were both quietly following deer rather than setting up in deer stands. Shortly after leaving one another, I came across a well-used deer track that had fresh tracks on it leading a particular direction. It was there that I had my direction of travel and headed out cross-country to track and find these deer.

After about an hour of following through the woods, I could faintly make some deer out about 100 yards in front of me in some large trees. I continued to follow and make my way to them. It was early and these deer were on their way to a bedding site and were constantly on the move. This required some great following skills on my part. I was slowly, but surely, closing the time and distance gap between them and myself. When I got within forty yards of them, I knew I was getting close enough to them that I was going to get a good shot on one. They turned around the end of a ridgeline and went out of sight due to a large rock.

This gave me the opportunity to close the gap quickly as I could move without alerting them as long as I stayed quiet. That was exactly what I did. When I came around the rock the deer were well within range and I pulled up to take a shot，but was surprised by a deer much closer that I had not seen. That deer alerted the others and took off running，which caused the other deer to do the same.

注意：

1.所续写短文的词数应为150左右：

2.续写部分分为两段，每段的开头语已为你写好；

Paragraph 1:

When the deer had disappeared, I realized I had housework to do before my dad returned home.

Paragraph 2:

After what felt like a lifetime of running and many falls on the ground,I fell down nearly exhausted.

文章讲述了“我”和表兄两人瞒着父亲外出捕鹿，期间我和表兄分开，我在追鹿过程中越走越远，在鹿消失后，我意识到要回家了。根据首句提示，学生需要续意识到要回家后所发生的事情和结局。

在阅读这个文本时，可以引导学生先理出文章的主要人物：“我”、表兄、父亲，然后带着学生找出故事的开端是“我”和表兄出来到森林捕鹿，故事的发展是“我”一人追鹿去了，高潮部分是鹿消失了，学生要续的部分是“我”该做什么，意识到要回家后又发生了什么，结局是什么。根据故事的发展，“故事山”就这样呈现了：

                   Climax   (Deer disappeared.)   

(I followed the deer)      (I realized I had to housework to do)  

           Build-up           Resolution

  (I Went out to hunt for deer)             ?

Opening                             Ending

         Main characters: I, cousin, father

通过引入“故事山”阅读原文，学生能够对故事情节的发展有更清晰的认识，在续写时就不会出现前面提到的“偏离主题”这一现象。

二、以线索为本，构思合理情节

线索就是将一些相关联的事物联系起来，学生在学习过程中可以将本来看似孤立的内容紧密联系起来，从而构思出线索背后所隐藏的故事[2]。线索分显性线索和隐性线索，显性线索多为时间、地点和情节线索，隐性线索多为关键词、句等，笔者引导学生挖掘隐性线索为续故事提供了构架思路。

以上述续写文本为例。笔者引导学生关注一些关键词：a national forest, split up, my cousin, following等。学生关注forest这个词的时候就会想到人在森林中很容易迷路；了解split up是分开的意思后，学生明白是我一个人去追鹿，而且越追越远，一个人就很容易找不回来；强化关键人物my cousin后，学生就能快速解决“我”迷路后“我”的表兄会找“我”等情节。基于这些线索，学生能够准确构思与文章主题相关的情节，使续写部分合理合情。

英语学习活动观要求学生在主题意义引导下，通过学习理解、应用实践、迁移创新等一系列体现综合性、关联性和实践性等特点的学习活动，在分析问题和解决问题的过程中，促进自身语言技能发展、多元思维发展等[3]。笔者探究的以“故事山”为基，以线索为本的读后续写教学符合课程标准中提及的英语学习活动观，有助于学生在读后续写备考中有所突破。

参考文献：

[1]蔡淳之，《“故事山”一中有趣的思维导图》，小学教学设计.语文，2019年第1期

[2]论文《线索教学法在高中英语阅读中的应用研究》，https://wenku.so.com/d/1c49e5387a63f1b265b5f881b123f6cc

[3]《普通高中英语课程标准》，2017版2020年修订